Dedicated to Blaming and Complaining

May 10, 2016 & November 19, 2013

I know.  Life can be a real struggle!

What with all of those people, situations and even God hitting you right and left with all that crap over and over again!  After all, the only thing that you want is to live in peace and harmony with all those folks and events that you encounter, and realize the prosperity that you have been projecting for.  Is that too much to ask?  Why won’t all those people and events in my life just relax and come from their heart?  Aren’t I good person?  Don’t I deserve that?  Is that too much to ask?  Isn’t that what the spiritual life promises anyway?

Hmmm.  Well, we all just want to finally relax in being accepted, being prosperous and spreading love.  So, let’s take a little look at these assumptions.

Do you find that these things keep happening to you over and over again?

Do you try your best to attract or get things that might cover what might be called your insecurities?  For instance, your fear of not having enough money to put a roof over your head; your lack of someone loving you or reassuring you; someone not believing in you, or blocking you, or slandering you even though you have done nothing wrong; any feelings of betrayal or abandonment; and the list goes on.

That, my Dear is a partial victim’s list!  Oh, yeah. 

And then do we have a habit of really getting into it, feeling really sorry for ourselves and continually reinforcing our crummy identity as a victim by expressing all of these “injustices” by blaming and complaining?  Sound familiar at all?

I know.  You are saying, “Wouldn’t anyone feel really let down, confused, fearful or unloved if these things happened to them, especially if they happened in a really big way?  After all, I am on my spiritual path, so shouldn’t I get some kind of reward from God at least for all the service I have given, and the spiritual work that I have done? Why would I work my butt off doing all these practices if there weren’t even a little reward for it all?”

Guess what?

All that that I just described is our current culture’s idea of the spiritual path.  It is not the Truth!

In fact what I have found out from Soul/Guru over my long years is that Soul (our actual authentic Real Self) is not there to baby us.  In fact Soul doesn’t see that covering our insecurities so that we don’t have to deal with them is any kind of love at all.  Quite the contrary.

Actually Soul picks your Karmic interactions in this lifetime.  It does what it can to present you with challenge after challenge with the idea that as you heal or transform every reaction and source cause of every insecurity, you come closer to freeing yourself to find simple rest in God’s flow of total love and care for you!  I know that seems “counter intuitive,” but it is the Truth!  That is the course of the spiritual path, and there is no altering it. 

Our job here on Earth in this very lifetime is to give up and transform our crying “needs” that can actually never be really satisfied.   You see, those apparently heavy “needs” are really our virtual realities or “trances” as Yogi Bhajan used to call them of habitual fear. They are like broken records that when triggered actually replay through our psyche to repeat the same patterns over and over again.  They even automatically and perpetually magnetize those very same situations to us!  Then our continued pain, along with our demands and self-pity only serve to crimp down the actual flow of kindness, love and prosperity that the Universe is doing its best to provide for us. 

You might like to read that paragraph a few more times.

You see, as we become aware of these never-ending nasty situations in our life, we can then take the initiative to transform them and actually become free from their oppression and ongoing pain. As we go deeper and deeper, we will find that every transformation actually brings us more wisdom—seemingly out of nowhere.   We find that we have more understanding and we are actually able to help others who have the same problems with clarity and compassion!

So, here are some steps that I find particularly effective:

  • Start with your daily sadhana.  That gives you the energetic elevation, awareness and stamina to do this very sacred work. 
  • Become aware!  Whenever you find yourself in pain, or you hear yourself blaming, complaining, fearful or confused, shout to yourself, “This is my moment of opportunity to heal that junk and become free!”
  • Next, immediately begin Heart Breath to relax out of that obsessive tightness, go to shuniya or pure “neutrality.”  That is where Soul “lives.” It is a kind of energetic dimension where you can feel actual calmness and expansion.  At this point, you might even forget your problem.
  • Now, for the next step, here are two alternatives:
    • Simply stay in neutral and allow yourself to feel that very deep pain as it flows out of you.  No judgment, no fighting back, no explanations.  Just keep up your heart breath and let it all flow.  It would be best to have a mantra playing in the background or doing a kriya, meditation or your sadhana.  My favorite mantra to break this painful spell or trance is Gobinday, Mukunday …   .  Believe me, I can really shout it as I face really heavy-duty obsessive stuff!  As you heal, you will definitely feel that pain as it moves out of you.  Don’t get scared.  Just keep up your breath and let it happen, even if you are screaming with the pain.  Then at some time, you may feel that pain either subside or shatter apart.  Really miraculous.
    • Another method is to deeply, meditatively forgive the perpetrator of your pain, forgive yourself for getting involved with this pain on the most profound level, and even forgive God/Soul for Its part in bringing all this about.  This forgiveness does not say that what happened was OK.  On the contrary.  You leave justice up to the laws of karma.  Rather, I have seen that this forgiveness actually dissolves the energetic cords that keep you tied to re-experiencing this trance and it frees you from it replaying over and over again.
  • In the course of your healing, you may find that this trance was imprinted on you early in your childhood by the way that your parents treated you.  Therefore it became a repeating trance as well as your identity because it became the way that you see the world and your powerful but subconscious identity.  You may even find that it is rooted in past lifetimes or handed down through your ancestors to be played out again and again until it is finally healed.

Then as you heal, you simply begin to listen to Soul for guidance in every situation. With repeated experiments you learn that Soul is trustworthy, even though you don’t know where the heck It is taking you!  You find that once you have exhausted every bit of trying to care for yourself on your own--that never actually works out too well. Instead, you begin to find that as you rely on Soul without knowing what is coming next, that is your ONLY security.

Every big or small challenge becomes yet another opportunity to give up and rely on Soul to heal your terrors, needs and pains.  “Let go and let God!”  Overused expression, but nothing is truer.  You finally realize from experience that there is nowhere else to turn but Soul, because it is only Soul that can really have your back, and also give you the absolute unconditional love that you crave.  No person in the world can actually give you that most real and totally fulfilling experience.

Your only need then on this “spiritual path” becomes to only serve Soul without reservation.  Of course, you learn to do this as your “everyday self,” which is your ego, emotions, trances, and memories transforms to become so clear and transparent that it can finally calm down and let Soul take charge.

But this is a partnership between Soul and everyday self.  So, that means that everyday self lovingly follows Soul’s direction, sometimes even kicking and screaming into what appears to be the unknown.  This is where you find that the only security in your life is living this “Unknown.”  “The Unknown is known to me,” which was repeated often by Yogi Bhajan.  This is how you align your mind with your Soul as he instructed us to do. And once you get the hang of it, this is truly a most cozy and reliable relationship!

Then as you dissolve those trances, you become more and more “transparent” so that the full God Consciousness of your Soul may move more and more into your own everyday consciousness.  That, my Dear is the true direction of the Spiritual Path.  It is called Yoga or Union or Self-Realization.  And that is what we truly seek and that which fulfills every real need!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, , 2016 & 2013.You have permission to reproduce this article either in print or online as long as you keep this copyright line large and close to the article.To easily print out this article, please go to  .