Hello Siri-Gian,
My name is Deslie from Lincoln, NE and I listen to the podcast because my work schedule does not allow me to listen live. I actually was unexpectedly in between contracts last fall and did get to experience 2 live calls, unfortunately fear can be a great silencer even though I felt a connection to the regulars on the call. Anyhoo, you always ask for people to share and I’m unable to share live, so I thought I’d share with you now. As a precept I will share that my brain struggles with memory, so I cannot reference the particular meditations.
I will say that I have called on Baba Siri Chand and have seen him. I was surprised that he was the size of a prepubescent boy although that is how he was described, mostly I was surprised to see him. Lol. But, there was one meditation where I heard your voice and a deeply melodic male voice at the same time, it sounded older so to see such a small being and to know it was him was surprising. Nothing happened that first time I saw him because fear jolted me out of being able to see him, but during one of the next meditations he showed up again. In this one I felt as if I was being pulled apart, I performed heart breath, relaxed, and allowed as I was being encouraged. I “saw” black smoke in the shape of me being pulled out of me, it was very wispy and when it was out he exclaimed “you did it!”. I felt this experience illustrated the teaching about how one can’t force, one has to relax, like really relax. I wouldn’t say it was surrendering, but knew even if I tensed up even a little bit the process immediately stopped.
Another experience was I was attempting the meditation where, I think we were supposed to envision a divine light above. I may be mischaracterizing, as I’ve done similar meditations connecting the cosmic divine light with the earth, acting as a conduit. What was different was that my ears opened up and I heard what I can only describe as a great wind, I looked up and saw a light shining like a sun above me. I was afraid, but was able to stay in the space which was new to me. I felt compelled to ask for something in this space, but didn’t know what. The first thing that came to mind was to ask for All Good things for All who lived in this (my) house (cause I could see everything in my house through the floors illuminated). At that moment the light beamed down and I could feel it viscerally. At the same time I saw some black smoke roll in and partially block the light and felt as if I asked wrongly and the vision ended. I was perplexed, but felt at the time that I utilized judgement concepts. In using a judgement concept like Good because we live in plurality some “bad” would also eek its way in. It still confuses me, but I feel it was a lesson on neutrality and allowing the light to flow without placing my preconceptions on it, just acceptance and perhaps guiding it to wherever it was called to go.
The last one I will share was recently, like a few weeks ago. I was working on relaxing and allowing the release of hurt and pain and I cannot remember why, but my eye turned inwardly and I found a concentration of darkness there. So, first I sent it heart breath and it was like a black hole where light was consumed. Then I connected with that cosmic light and asked for help from cosmic beings to fill this darkness with light and felt as massive levels of light were consumed and disappeared. I was in awe that such a darkness not only existed, but was in me. No light could fill it and it was insatiable. I felt that this is that place in us all that we try to fill with both positive and negative coping mechanisms and came to the realization that it was a hole impossible to fill and it needed to be released, so I called on my teachers, divine beings, Baba Siri Chand, etc to take this darkness and I did my best to relax. I did not see it this time, but I felt it. Lifetimes of heart aches/heartbreaks mine and those I caused at my heart, massacres/murders/deaths I had caused near my belly, rapes I had committed at my genitals. I could feel the pain, I was crying and I don’t cry very often, and I did my best to relax and allow it all to come up and I’m only touching on some of what I was able to allow myself to feel. And I thought of how you say to hold loving space because we’ve been the abuser as well as the victim and I was like damn, she’s right I need to hold my judgement and hold healing space for All regardless of what I think. I imagine there is more to release there, that work is not done, but it was a large step opening me up that much more to shine and hold the light.
So, really I just want to thank you. I have worked and attempted to utilize many different approaches to facilitate deep healing and what you share has been by far the most effective for me. You are a gift I am deeply grateful for.
-Deslie
Dear Deslie,
Thanks so much for sending me this wonderful story with Baba Siri Chand. And Yes, Yogi Bhajan always said that Baba Siri Chand never looked more than 12 years old, even when he was over 100 yrs. and made his way up to the Himalayas.
What blessings you have had, Dear. You have seen the “Truth!” and been healed of so much! Are you feeling better, lighter, more wise, loved and loving since these experiences? I am so grateful to have been the messenger for Baba Siri Chand’s wonderful work with you!
Now, would you mind if I share your amazingly beautiful story with others, and put it on a page on our website? We could take your name off it if you like. Please let me know. Baba Siri Chand says he loves you so much and really enjoys working with you because you are so open. He says that you will be teaching what you know in the future.
Lots of Love,
Siri-Gian
From Deslie:
I am in a space of becoming and feel much better, lighter, wiser, and hold a deeper capacity to love and accept being loved. There are so many little experiences and evidences of healing rippling through all aspects of my life. It’s still difficult, but I am able to face and release for healing things that are coming to the surface. Thank you for sharing his teachings, wisdom, and insights.
And yes you can share, if I need to edit let me know or you have my permission to edit. On the one hand I’m like sure, go ahead and use my name. And then on the other hand there is this fear, like a memory of the witch burnings in Europe and an older memory of a time long, long, long ago of channeling great power and a genocide that the power couldn’t stop. It’s a deep fear I’ve been working on releasing, fear of being a target like every lifetime since that long ago time...now thinking on it like that, you can use my first name. Not many Deslies in the world, but I need to face this if I’m going to move forward. Again, thank you so much. Bountiful blessings rain down upon you, quenching all thirsts, feeding All hungers, bringing All joys.
-d
I am so very happy and grateful for your healing, Dear! You are doing so very great, and this is such a tangible report of pure healing! I am sure that your story will inspire so many!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience with Baba Siri Chand with others, Dear.
BTW, it seems to be a requirement for healers in this lifetime to have been killed in other lifetimes. Looks like you qualify, Dear!
Lots of Love,
Siri-Gian
